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A Simple Tip To Stop Being Invisible
Not everyone is born with high self-esteem
and self-confidence.
But you can boost your confidence so you
can face the world on your own terms.
Check out how here.
It's not easy but you can end the emotional
carnage experience the confidence most people
can only dream of.
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Hi Amy,
I'm 30 years old and it seems that I've had
low self-esteem for most of that time.
As a child I was always very shy and didn't
really sociallize with other children my age.
As I grew older nothing really changed for me.
I kept a low profile, often settling for something
that was "less" than I wanted - be it position
or otherwise - just so I don't have to face being
judged by other people.
It's not really a wonder that I often wish I was
this invisible person that no one else can see
- only because I often think people see me
like that (ironic use of words don't you think?).
I do know that I can't continue being like this.
I want to change but I have no idea where to
start.
What should I be doing?
I appreciate any input you can give me.
Hoping,
Joanne
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I remember watching the movie "The Invisible"
man and thinking to myself that would be a
cool power to have.
You know, no one being able to see you -
you can pretty much do anything you want
and no one can pin it on you because no
one can see you.
Now if only life imitated art in that regard.
Unfortunately, it doesn't.
Being invisible in the real world means no
one notices you - that for all intents and
purposes you are literally and figuratively
invisible.
It is a painful situation to be in.
People tend to be surprised when they "finally"
notice you are there.
They don't have you join them and yet you
become the butt of their jokes.
I'll stop right here because it seems like you
are about to crawl into a box and hyperventilate.
I won't pull any punches with you - that's what
it means to be "invisible" to people.
You've experienced that so it shouldn't come
as a shock to you.
What I will to you is this: that's the life you
HAD, and notice I put the emphasis on "had."
I do that because of what you yourself said
to me: "you wanted to change."
If I were any closer to you I'd give you a hug.
That's what I want to hear.
Those four little words: "I want to change,"
means the difference between being a wallpaper
and being the center of attention.
That being said, I'll warn you, it's not going
to be easy.
You've been like that for almost all your life
and that will take time to change.
BUT, and this is a big but (no pun intended),
you can change it.
That's the most important thing.
Now repeat after me:
"I will change, I will change, I will change..."
Can you feel it?
The energy that is now coursing through your
whole being?
That's what you want.
That's what you need.
Now let's get on changing shall we?
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Rome wasn't built in a day, although the myths
may argue with that, but let's not get side-tracked.
That being said I won't be giving you instant
advise that can cure all that ails you.
I'm not a snake charmer and besides I prefer
snakes to be far away from me as possible.
Let me then start by giving you ways to help
yourself be a much more confident person
so you get out of your low self-esteem rut.
Ready? Then let's move on.
Okay, you can start by not putting yourself
down.
You heard me.
STOP bashing yourself to pieces.
It's not really helping you much.
On the contrary it's actually helping to bring
you down.
I don't think you want that.
That's pessimistic talk.
Try being optimistic.
When you do talk to yourself make it a positive
one.
Always look on the bright side of things.
Even when things aren't exactly going your
way give yourself a boost by giving yourself
positive self-affirmations.
I want you to become your own cheerleader.
Remember the saying in Heroes that goes:
"save the cheerleader, save the world."
Well in your case let the cheerleader save
your world.
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Stop comparing yourself to others.
Look here, Angelina Jolie is Angelina Jolie.
That's who she is and no one can change
that.
(And I'm sure the men are all in agreement)
You are you, and no one can change that
either.
They shouldn't change that and neither should
you.
You start comparing yourself to Angelina
and I'll come over there and give you a good
talking over.
My point is our differences is what makes
us who we are.
That's what makes each of us unique from
one another.
Even identical twins have traits and characteristics
that sets them apart from one another.
Yes, Angelina is a star and all that but I bet
you can do something that she can't do.
Focus on that.
Build upon that.
See, you've just turned what could have been
a negative into a positive.
That's what I want you to continue doing.
Focus on your strenghts, turn your weaknesses
into positives, and work your way up from there.
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It will take work on your end for all this to work.
There's no quick way to go about it.
But then again you can't take off the layers
that have built up over the years in mere
seconds.
You have to peel it back layer by layer so
you don't destroy the core that is you.
Become gentler and nicer to yourself.
Check out the guide that I've prepared for
you.
Grab a copy of it now.
Strengthen yourself so you not only deal
with the criticisms and rejections but you
also get to appreciate and love yourself even
with your limitations.
To you fabulous self-esteem,
Amy Twain
PS. I also write self-improvement articles in my blog: http://www.innerzine.com. Come check it out.
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