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Develop Your Empathy For Everyone
If you're looking at developing
your self-esteem so you can
become the confident person
you want to be then check
out what I have prepared just
for you.
Look at it here.
Jump out of your shell and stop
being a doormat.
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Let me ask you this question:
Have you ever talked with
someone after a heart breaking
event and they didn't seem
to care?
That even though your pouring
your soul out to them they just
seem apathetic...so much so
that you want to hit them in the
face?
I'm sure you have at one point
or another.
In fact, it may have been you
who was being apathetic.
I certainly hope you did not hit
that person in the face or get
hit yourself.
Especially if they are your best
friend. After all it's not anyone's
fault.
Yes I'm sure it felt like you were
no better talking to a concrete
wall.
I mean, after all you're hurting
and looking for a little empathy
and your best friend is not
giving it to you.
Whoa...ok I understand where
that anger is coming from but
you need to understand one
thing before you break it off
from your best friend - he or
she may really care about your
situation it's just that they are
not able to empathize that well.
Empathy is understanding
someone else's feelings.
It's being aware of that other
person's feelings AND being
sensitive to them.
The thing is empathy is
something that you learn,
typically through continuous
practice.
Another thing is that not all
people are empathetic.
Some are more naturally
empathetic than others so
they can easily feel the pain
of others and put themselves
in that person's shoes.
A major factor for the lack of
empathy in a person is the
lack of a role model for such
an emotion.
By that I mean your parents
did not show any such emotions
when you were talking to them
or when other people were
talking to them and you
were around.
Because your adult role models
did not acknowledge and even
denied such emotions exist
you have nothing to emulate.
But don't despair. The good
news is you CAN learn
empathy.
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Start with self-awareness.
Know your personal biases,
values, desires and concerns
so you can set them aside if
they should run counter to
your friend's needs.
That way you can effectively
reach out to your friend.
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Be really sincere.
Show that you really care
about what happens to that
other person.
The other person will sense it
and respond accordingly.
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Pay attention to body
language
Both yours and theirs. Having
crossed arms can be a sign
of self-protection which is
often an indication of anxiety
and vulnerability.
In your end the same posture
could mean you are putting
up a wall against what that
person is telling you.
Remember, what your body
is communicating will be
reciprocated by the other
person.
It's why yawns are so darn
contagious.
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Listen, NOT hear
And Yes, there is a difference
between the two.
Hearing is simply letting the
words go in one ear, spin
around a little bit, then go
right out the other ear.
It doesn't trigger any emotions
or a feeling of understanding.
Listening on the other hand,
is about going beyond the
words.
It's looking at the feelings
that are being conveyed
and grabbing on to that.
The words go in one ear and
goes to the heart and the mind
where it is acknowledged and
processed.
At the same time you can
mirror what the other person
has told you by using your
own words to repeat what
they have said for
clarification.
This way you verify that you
understood what they said
and at the same time give them
the opportunity to clarify any
misunderstanding.
Plus it shows that you are
listening.
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The thing you need to
remember is that you
acknowledge the other
person's right to feel the
way they do.
Be grateful that it's not you
who has the problem but
the other person.
Show affection - a touch or
a hug can go a long way in
showing your support and
understanding of their plight.
But to make the most of your
friendships and relationships
you need to have the
confidence to face
the world.
Empathy starts with one's
self.
Fight your low-self esteem
and be your own best
friend forever.
My step-by-step guide will help
you love yourself and take
charge of your life.
Check it out here.
Face the world with confidence.
Amy Twain
P.S. Check out my blog at: http://www.innerzine.com
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