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The Power of Positive Self Talk
Don't let work become a tedious affair.
Let it become as fun as your favorite hobby.
See how it's possible here.
Work doesn't have to be that bad.
Learn to love the job you're in.
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Hi Amy,
I'm in school to be part of the hotel and restaurant
industry.
A requirements is to have on-site training in
a hotel or restaurant of our choice.
I applied for and got into a pretty good hotel
in our area.
Though it was without pay, this was my first
experience in a "real" world job.
At first, everything was going well. I was posted
to do duty in taking care of the hotel rooms
under one staff supervisor.
Though I tried my best it wasn't good enough
for the supervisor.
He always found something wrong with what
I was doing even though I thought I did it the
way he said I should do it.
He would point out things I did wrong and
would let me know about it.
I got discouraged by his comments.
The thing is that's not the first time I got
discouraged by other people's comments
about me.
It even got to the point where I did not go for
anything because of my fear of being put down.
What should I do?
Mike
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Feeling down after someone just criticized
you is a normal reaction to have.
Who wouldn't be, especially after you did
everything you could to accomplish something.
But to stop going forward altogether because
of that is somewhat problematic.
Because that is not how it should be.
Let me share with you a quote that I think
is appropriate for this situation.
It's from the late U.S. First Lady Eleanor
Roosevelt.
“No one can make you feel inferior
without your consent.”
Think about it for a moment.
The negative comments are all external.
It's how you respond internally that determines
your thoughts and felling and, ultimately, your
actions.
Basically, it is you who is making the decision
whether you get devastated by what was said
to you or not.
But you can get out of such a quagmire.
Just control how you talk to yourself.
By that I mean controlling your inner dialogue
or self-talk, so you can re-assert control over
your life.
This self-talk determines your emotional life.
Let me put it to you another way - self-talk
is how you would describe what is happening
to you to yourself.
It determines how you look at that event.
Basically, if you always describe these external
events in negative terms then you will have
a negative outlook in life.
On the flip side, when you see things positively
and constructively, you will have a tendency
to remain positive and optimistic.
Like I said earlier, it's a natural reaction to
be emotional when our expectations fail us.
When things don't go how we expect it to
be it's only normal to feel down.
If you have a positive outlook you can move
forward.
You can respond to any adverse event and
see it as merely a temporary thing.
So how do you go about doing that?
Let's talk about that.
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1. Decide that no matter what happens
you won't let it get you down
This is an important step.
In advance you have to tell yourself that regardless
of what happens, regardless of the comments
that you will receive, you will not let it get you
down.
You will take whatever is brought upon you
and see the positive side of it.
In your case, don't let the criticism of your
performance dampen your enthusiasm for
the job.
Use the criticism and turn it around.
Use it to develop your weaknesses.
Who knows you may get better because of it.
Try to pull out any pearls of wisdom from what
your supervisor is telling you.
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2. Get rid of all the negativity
To be able to go to positive talk mode you
need to be aware of the thoughts that run
through your mind.
More specifically you need to be able to
slowly move away from the negativity.
Easier said than done, especially if you
have a long history of negativity.
One good way to turn it around is to ask
why it's not possible to do things.
Instead of saying you can't, ask why can't
you.
See the difference?
Once you have that done you can start with
positive affirmations - positive statements
of a desired outcome.
Do it with all the emotion you can muster.
With emotions behind it the affirmations have
more meaning and more effect.
At the same time replace the negative influences
that are around you with positive ones.
If your friends and co-workers are the negative
influences then limit contact with them as
much as possible.
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3. Look at each setback as only for now
Treat all setbacks as disconnected events.
Treat them as something that comes and
goes.
To do otherwise means that you acknowledge
that they are something you have no control
over.
Here, the criticism only deals with the work
you're doing. It has no connection with how
you live your life or how act outside of work.
*******************************************************************
Replacing negative self-talk with a more positive
one isn't happening overnight.
You have to grit your teeth and commit yourself
to change.
Positive self talk is all about being aware of
your thoughts.
It's not about blaming yourself.
It's all about looking on the bright side of things.
The power that positive self-talk possesses
cannot be emphasized enough.
You can deal with criticism and rejections
and appreciate and love yourself despite
your limitations.
Make use of affirmations to maximize positivity
in your life.
And you can get more out of your work if you
know how to deal with your boss or supervisor
and with your co-workers.
See how here.
To a stronger you,
Amy Twain
P.S. Visit my blog at: http://www.innerzine.com. Check it out.
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