A time of grief and loss can be a very sensitive matter to tackle. Whenever people try to cheer up a loved one, sometimes they fall even deeper into grief and it obviously aggravates the condition of the person who's suffering. Even psychologists and counselors find a hard time giving these people relief. To the uninitiated, grief counseling is a touchy matter because you need to debrief the person who needs the counseling.
advertisement
This means reliving or, rather, remembering the experience to its full extent.
Why does this need to be done? In a nut shell, when you truly understand something in it's entirety you can get over it easily and rationalize it. For someone who's undergone a tragic experience to go through counseling like this on the on-set, does more harm to himself/herself than good.
I'm sure it's very different from the generic notion on how to aid the grieving, but there are certain degrees of pain that cannot be solved by letting it all out. The human being isn't like a steaming kettle or a hydraulic system for that matter. Letting it all out might not be the best solution. Other people need to be given some time to recuperate in a peaceful place away from stress.
This level of grief can be identified in the millions of people who have lost family, friends and other loved ones to the devastating earthquake at Haiti.
How about the millions of other Americans who lost loved ones in 9/11? They too fall under this level of grief.
The rehash of the traumatic events will do more harm than good. Asking someone to talk about it could even provoke post-traumatic stress disorder rather than preventing it. The next best thing that you can do for these people rather short of making there grievances magically disappear is by giving them a hand out and a hand up. Professionals are sensitive to this matter and people who aren’t really trained to help people with grief of that level shouldn’t really try to use professional techniques.
You can try treating them to food, getting their mind off their problems, turn the tied around by showing them generosity; simple things that can help them get on their feet and move on. It might be a shallow notion, but it’s one of the best things that you can offer people in grief.
